Forever Fabulously Thirty

Me Time is Important

Today is the day before my birthday. How old will I be? Well, I've decided, as women often do, to lie about my age until my body betrays the lie issuing forth from my deceitful mouth. So, in answer to the question, I will be thirty.

When I did, actually, turn thirty, I was just emerging from my second, prolonged attack of Post Natal Depression and the thought of turning thirty threatened to return me to that dark abyss in the recesses of my mind. Fortunately, my doctor had recommended Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT, as part of my treatment. I'll spare you all the boring details, except the one thing I learnt, 'ME' time IS important.

I hear that sigh! How many of you are picturing the clichéd image of a long soak in a hot bath, with aromatherapy oils and candles? If only it was that easy to cure depression! I'm not saying these little moments, that allow you to stop and watch the world go by, (a thing we seem to do less and less these days) aren't important, because they are. But, in order to properly address the illness of depression, you have to go much deeper. You have to make it a chance to BE 'ME' time.

Put simply, if you do not take care of yourself, how can you hope to properly take care of anyone else? Or, put another way, if you have lost focus on who you are and you are stagnating in a pool of depression, how can you hope to focus on anyone else?

As a full time mother to two demanding girls, taking care of and focusing on my girls is something I have to do every day, without fail. CBT, made me realise that I had forgotten to take care of myself. I had lost sight of the me I was before I became “mummy!” It was as though I had split myself into two people. The physical me lived on, but the mental, emotional me had been slowly buried, so slowly, in fact, I hadn't realised I had been lost from sight.

So, in order that I should not be lost from sight again, when I turned thirty, I decided to give my 'ME' time and consequently, my life, more focus. My first steps on the road to rediscovering myself were small. Taking time to sit and have breakfast or simply, just taking five when I was tired. Next came the craft room (a 6' square back porch to be exact) where I could keep my things for crafting eccentric and pretty items for around to house. Then, because I wanted more of a challenge, came the running (more about this and the crafting in later blogs).

So, what next? Why, an A Level on English Language and Literature of course. I had challenged myself physically, now I wanted a mental challenge and to someone who left school at thirteen and who possesses a single solitary GCSE, an A Level is a huge challenge.

But, it wasn't just a random choice. Remember I said that I wanted to give my life more focus, well my focus has become not ending up as a checkout girl when I eventually return to work. I've been there, done that, got the unwashed, unwanted t-shirt left behind by the previous employee. Now that I have reached the grand age of thirty, I've decided I'm worth more and can do better. I want the decade that is my thirties, to be the best yet and working on a checkout in order to scrape together a few pennies, the pitiful “minimum wage”, does not appeal to me.

So, step one is to complete my A Level. Step two, is to do a Maths GCSE. Step three. . . well, step three, is to do a foundation degree in eCommunications. Personally, I think it is a huge leap from one GCSE, to eventually, hopefully, doing a foundation degree (completely online) and I'll admit I'm a little bit daunted by the challenge I've set myself. Hence, the reason and motivation for this blog. The foundation degree is two or three years in the future, but I'm starting to build on any writing skills I have now, so I am better prepared for the demands of the course. My challenge here and now is to keep up with writing this blog and to try and make it a good one.